Buffalo Chicken: The Great American Debate

At work, I posed this all-important question to the team: What is the best preparation of buffalo chicken? This immediately sparked a conversation on everyone’s favorite and why. Answers ranged from “I gotta stick with the classic bone-in” to “I like to spice things up with buff chick pizz” to “I don’t even like buffalo chicken!”. This got me thinking that there must be some correlation between one’s personality and their buffalo chicken preference. I did a quick search on the internet, which unfortunately yielded no results.

Screen Shot 2017-10-10 at 7.00.41 PM
Findings from the first study: “Chili liking was positively associated with chili intake” (Hayes et al. 2013) [1]
Therefore, I decided to become a pioneer in this field of research and develop my own theories. Of course, I don’t have the time to develop a survey, distribute, collate results, analyze, and infer (or something to that effect). That’s just crazy talk! Instead, I just wrote down my thoughts. I’ll leave it to someone else to figure out how accurate they are.

P.S. – Please don’t take these stereotypes seriously! They DO NOT represent anyone I know. They are meant to be fun, especially when you can be like, “Yeah, Stacy is totally a buffalo chicken wrap kind of girl.”

Bone-In Buffalo Chicken Wings

The purists of the world. These people are all about preserving the integrity of the buffalo chicken construct. This is what buffalo chicken is… nothing more, nothing less.

When eating their bone-in wings, things get messy with buffalo sauce all over their hands and face and wing carcasses covering the table. Their nose starts itching, but they can’t scratch because of the sauce on their hands. Their nose starts running, but their napkin is already covered with wing sauce so they can’t blow. While eating the joint meat, you can hear the crunch of the ligaments as they chew. Bone-in advocates say this is all part of the buffalo chicken experience. Or at least that’s what they keep telling themselves.

Boneless Buffalo Chicken Wings

Efficient and practical. This person is willing to sacrifice some flavor for convenience. In life, there are always choices you have to make and trade-offs you have to live with. Boneless wingers are the ultimate compromisers, trying to achieve zen and balance in all aspects of their lives. I bet 10 doll hairs if you ask any master negotiator, they’ll be boneless buffalo wing enthusiasts.

Buffalo Chicken Pizza

Buff. Chick. Pizz. The epitome of millennial food. Some people think it is desecration of buffalo chicken, but many more believe it to be culinary innovation at its finest. Even within the realm of buffalo chicken pizza, there are many different interpretations. As you can see, I am biased toward buffalo chicken pizza. Therefore, just think of me when you think of the typical buff chick pizz lover (a millennial who likes brunches, burrito bowls, and using the latest questionably-useful apps).

Buffalo Chicken Wrap

This person has ambition written all over them. They’re all about the to-go lifestyle and being able to eat their lunch with one hand. Mushy lettuce? no matter. Soggy tortilla wrap? Long hair don’t care. As long as they have one hand free for writing e-mails while holding the wrap in the other, they are content with their food choice. Maybe a common trait between ambitious people is their taste buds are fried.

Crockpot Buffalo Chicken

Crockpot Buffalo Chickeners are the people I aspire to be. They live a proactive lifestyle and are prudent with their money. They participate in meal prep Sundays and prefer cooking to ordering takeout. These are the people who post recipes on social media, not the ones who bookmark them on their phone, never to be opened again. If you get a room full of crockpot buffalo chickeners, I guarantee they’ll solve all of the world’s problems… one crockpot recipe at a time.

Buffalo Chicken Dip

When it comes to the buffalo chicken dip dude, it’s always party time. Whether it’s an outdoor barbecue or Sunday Night Football with the boys, they’ll always have a bud light in one hand (natty if they’re fratty) and a high-brotein food item in the other. After all, they’re always chasing after those gains.

The buffalo chicken dip chick, on the other hand, is all about trying out new Pinterest crockpot recipes for Friday night book club. “That buffalo chicken dip pairs really well with the Beringer White Zinfandel, doesn’t it Claire?” “Yeah totally, Nancy! I can’t stop eating it! Oh my gosh, I’m such a pig!” “Oh my gosh, stop it Claire! You’re like less than 100 pounds!”

Buffalo Chicken Salad

I don’t think I’ve ever had buffalo chicken salad, but I imagine it would taste glorious. There’s not much to say about people who like buffalo chicken salad because it’s pretty obvious what they’re like. Typical Jackie…

Buffalo Chicken Taquitos

tacky toes.. hehehe. Wish I could take credit for that one..

Vegetarian Buffalo Chicken

These people are vegetarians who secretly want to be meat-eaters. However, they don’t cave because of their principles. If they didn’t want to eat meat, why do they want to eat meat-substitutes? This behavior translates into other facets of their lives. No matter how illogical it is, they’ll stick to their word and principles. These people are the most likely to live out the Michael Cera conspiracy theory. But hey, just because something seems illogical doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sticking to your principles is very admirable.

Buffalo Chicken Kale

Alright, enough of this nonsense…

 

Thank you Pinterest for identifying the different presentations of buffalo chicken.

BTW, for those who are curious of what my workplace is like, imagine a stock photo, watermark included, of a diverse group of people candidly giving high-fives to each other in a room. I can’t post a picture due to copyright laws, but this will give you the right idea.

Citations

[1] Nadia K. Byrnes, John E. Hayes, Personality factors predict spicy food liking and intake, In Food Quality and Preference, Volume 28, Issue 1, 2013, Pages 213-221, ISSN 0950-3293, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.foodqual.2012.09.008.

Photo Credits For Featured Image:

Clark Young

photo credit: su-lin Nando’s Chicken Wrap Closeup via photopin (license)

photo credit: Tojosan Sir Chicken Pizza of the Barbeque Coast via photopin (license)

 

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